Bearing the Unbearable

with poems by Frank Medbery, Catherine Esposito Prescott, Diane Seuss & Susan Vespoli

(Content warning: discussion of sudden death including suicide & overdose & death of a child)

It’s been three years since my first chapbook (see above), about the loss of my 11-year old nephew Frankie to suicide, was published by Small Harbor Publishing. And today, Wednesday, September 17th, if he had lived, we would have celebrated his 20th birthday.

If you would like to purchase a signed copy of this book or any of my books, please complete this google form. All of my profits from book sales in September will be donated to SIX FEET OVER, a Michigan-based, non-profit organization that supports survivors of suicide loss.

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How do you bear it? If you have experienced tragic, devastating and/or unimaginable loss & you survive it—you will likely be asked this question.

How do you bear it?

In the past three months, a very close friend of mine lost her adult daughter suddenly. Her daughter had a three-month old baby; she will never meet her mother.

How do you bear it?

Two weeks ago, my local 12-step community lost a beloved young member to an overdose.

How do you bear it?

My 11-year old nephew Frankie died by suicide in 2017. He left behind hundreds of people, including his mother, father, stepmother, siblings, teachers, cousins, grandparents, countless children, some of whom have been indelibly imprinted with the kind of grief that changes your brain.

How do you bear it?

Two months after his death, my sister succumbed to her grief & took her own life. My mother lost her child and her grandchild within a two-month period of time. My niece lost her brother & mother. Countless friends also lost their friend.

How do you bear it?

Today, my nephew Frankie would have turned 20.

How do you bear it?

We can’t, but we do. How? For me, at times, it has meant sheer stubbornness. At other times, I’ve collapsed into my community & allowed them to hold me. And sometimes, I have become the worst version of myself—primal, base, terrified, consumed, obsessive, rageful, vengeful, withdrawn & even cruel—because it feels like the only way to survive loss or what I perceive as inevitable loss.

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This week, I am curating poems about bearing the unbearable, beginning with this poem by my nephew’s father, Frank Medbery Sr. (shared with me at my request and shared here with his permission).

If healing means lessening pain without creating new pain, then staying connected to Frank & his wife and sons has helped me heal more than any poem I have read or written.

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So…how do we write about bearing the unbearable? What does it mean to survive into a future you never imagined?

Paid subscribers will read poems by Catherine Prescott, Diane Seuss & Susan Vespoli & receive prompts inspired by their poems that explore bearing “the unbearable.”